Going Back On A Pump After 8 Years

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It is no secret to most that I have been living with Type 1 Diabetes for the last 15 years and it is also no secret that I have struggled for the greater part of that time. About 8 years ago, I went off my insulin pump after much discussion and struggle with my doctors. I hated having something attached to my body, I hated explaining it to kids in school, I hated how much it irritated my skin, and I hated this physical thing constantly reminding me that I AM SICK. 

At the end of 2017 I made a promise to my family, friends, fiancé and most importantly to myself to put my health at the forefront of my life in 2018. During the last two months, I have taken this promise to heart and have gone back on an insulin pump along with a CGM (continuous glucose monitor) which takes my blood sugar every 5 minutes through a sensor connected to my skin. I am so happy to say that my A1C (a number that measures your overall blood sugar levels) is the lowest it has been in over 10 years. I feel the best I ever have and I am proud to be wearing my insulin pump, as it is a sign that I am stronger than my disease. 

Is it annoying? Yes. I roll over it in the night, I get self conscious when people stare at it, I hate the way it looks in most of my clothes, and getting adjusted to the new insulin levels has been a beast to say the least. At first, I would cry thinking about my fiancé not finding me attractive when he saw the device attached to my body and feared that he would view me as a patient constantly instead of his partner. I would try to hide the pump under my pants during modeling castings for fear of not booking the job. I would feel faint at work rather than ask for a minute to check in with my body and my blood sugar.

I am no longer doing these things and sometimes yes, I have to actively tell myself to put myself first and that it IS going to be okay. I also know these obstacles are so minor in comparison to the huge strides I’ve made in my health and I am so proud to be rocking my T1D and rocking my insulin pump for everyone to see! Bring it world